My Pre-Game Ritual
Finally, I have a reason to wake up on Saturday’s. I don’t
think I have ever been as excited for a season as I am for this one. Since I’m
feeling charitable, I’ll let all the readers in on my pre-game ritual. It’s
bulletproof, guaranteed to get you in the Buckeye spirit.
By Eric Geier
Here you have it, a very simple formula to live by. If you
follow this pre-game ritual, you can single-handedly increase the odds the
Buckeyes win by 13%, based on a 12-year study conducted by a Harvard think
8:15 a.m. - Wake up to my iPod alarm playing “Hang on Sloopy,”
or anything by the OSU marching band.
8:20 a.m. - Go to the bathroom, being sure to use the Michigan toilet paper.
8:30 a.m. - Eat a bowl of “Chris Spielman Edition” Wheaties
from the early 80’s I bought on E-bay. Each box contains a drop of Chris
Spielman’s sweat, they’re delicious and they taste like victory.
8:45 a.m. - Perform “Script Ohio,” solo edition in my underwear in my
9:00 a.m. – Hit the nearest bar for kegs and eggs, filling
up on nutritious Budweiser and sweat shop eggs.
10:00 a.m. – Pop in the 2002 National Championship DVD,
watch the whole game and try to keep from crying when Cie Grant sings “Carmen
11:59 a.m. – Light a candle next to my Woody Hayes shrine
and say a prayer for the Buckeyes.
12:00 p.m. – Mute the TV and put on the radio so I don’t
have to hear whatever long-winded announcer they have for that particular game.
12 p.m. to 3:30- Watch Buckeyes Game
After Buckeyes Loss- Go to Bar
After Buckeyes Win- Go to Bar